


holy shit

by mcbagglez



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 12:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcbagglez/pseuds/mcbagglez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>eren gets mega dunked on</p>
            </blockquote>





	holy shit

**Author's Note:**

> my first snk fic be nice (́◉◞౪◟◉‵)

IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NORMAL DAY AT the survey corps' old ass headquarters, some dirty castle in the middle of nowhere. it was also an indeterminate part of the story's timeline, probably between the trost shit & the 57th expedition (the one where everyone got fucked up). 

eren sat along the edge of the castle's well, slightly hunched over & legs splayed out. he looked up at the sky, staring at the cloud or two that floated overhead, but not really seeing anything. his damn mouth was "slightly ajar" & he was zoned the fuck out

he didnt hear the boots padding against the dirt as someone approached him from behind. if he was paying attention he would have noticed that they stopped advancing & then silence. about a minute passed before a mysterious hand reached out, grabbed eren's shoulder, & pulled him backwards. the BRUNETTE yelped as he SCRAMBLED to overcorrect his balance on the ledge to save himself from falling down the well, jumping up onto his feet. what the fuck!!!!!

"WHAT THE FUuuoohh. Sir." his angry words dipped & slowly morphed into a hesitant greeting, mirroring the shift of his facial expressions. his eyes were wide as hell & he looked confused. eren slapped his fucking fist against his chest in a spectacularly half-assed salute. 

captain levi looked at eren's face, glanced down at his fist, then caught eren's eyes again with his own. his lidded eyes got a millimeter even more liddeder, his jaw fell slightly, & his eyebrow twitched. the minute change in expression was all levi needed to go from "bored with a pinch of irritation" to "are you fucking serious right now?" THE BRUNETTE had stared at levi's face long enough to catch on, clenching his fist tighter, straightening his posture, & wiping his own dumb ass expression to replace it with ridiculous earnestness. "SIR!" 

levi was satisfied at the display. "thats better. now tell me why you were just sitting around with your mouth hanging open like a fucking dumbass? i could have dropped a piece of shit RIGHT in there & you wouldnt have noticed. you realize youre like 10 minutes late to the long distance strategy meeting thing????" he crossed his arms & put his weight on one leg, lookin pretty sassy. 

immediately THE BRUNETTE started panicking & his eyes blew open. "oh fuck, i'm sorry sir, i must have lost track of time, i thought i was only sitting for a minute or something--"

levi didn't listen to any of the shit coming out of eren's mouth. he wasn't listening to begin with. all he did was look straight into eren's eyes, taking in all the expressions that crossed over his features. every emotion that eren felt was broadcast on his face to the fullest degree. sometimes it was cute. sometimes he looked fucking stupid? but at all times it entertained the captain.  
the eyes were his favorite part. eren's eyebrow game was strong as hell, so that was his second favorite part. but the EYES!!! they were such a unique shade of green. they had an unusual shine when light reflected on his face just the right way. levi had never seen that color before; not on anything made by human hands or even anything made by nature. it was like a weird dirty water, he guessed? he would almost describe it like an oceany green, but what the fuck is an ocean????

"calm down. that shit aint for another hour or so." levi let his amusement show on his face, plain as day, as one corner of his mouth hiked up a nanometer. this motherfucker just almost pushed eren down a well & then tricked him into losing his composure.

eren's mouth dropped open, eyebrows knitting slightly. then he huffed in relief, eyebrows relaxing & he glanced toward the ground. then his eyebrows came together AGAIN as he glanced back up at the captain, jaw clenching & frowning slightly. it all happened in like 2 seconds. 

levi wanted to laugh!!! he recounted what he'd seen in the whole two minutes he's been looking at eren's face: out of his gourd, lookin at the sky; INTENSE shock when he almost fell in the well; fucking pissed at whoever tried to pull him down; recognition & realization when he saw it was levi; confusion at what levi just did; dead seriousness to accompany his improved salute; panic when told he was late; & finally a lesser shock, followed by relief, then irritation at the meaningless prank. 

"Sir, that wasn't funny."

"Yeah it was. Don't get pissy just cause youre the one who got dunked on." levi uncrossed his arms & started walking back towards the castle's door, with eren rolling his eyes & following behind. "If that happened to Jean instead, you'd have the biggest shit-eating grin plastered on your dumb face all fuckin day, don't lie." 

eren thought for a moment, before defending his position. "Well... yeah, but Jean's dumb & fucking sucks." 

it was a pretty well-thought out argument, levi had to admit. jean WAS dumb & DID fucking suck. he shrugged. "i'm sure you fuck'n suck just as well as he does."

eren tripped over himself as he came stumbling to a halt behind levi, & the captain stopped walking, turning back to look at the boy. THE BRUNETTE stared at him, mouth & eyes wide as hell, absolutely incredulous. "EHH..!?!" a little late to the party, the red tint finally rose to eren's cheeks & the tippy tops of his ears, as he slowly processed what exactly was said & implied to him. "y-you.. & jean...?! sir??!"

levi raised his eyebrows. that really wasnt the thing he was trying to say. he had thought it was pretty witty, but the combination of his ineloquent wordsmithing & the fact that trying to talk to eren was like trying to talk to a pile of horse shit sometimes was bound to cause a few miscommunications. "ew, no."

relief started to pass through eren's body, his shoulders took a quick dive from their tensed-up state & he breathed out heavily, taking a step forward--

"i meant to imply possible sexual relations between me & you, eren. is that clear enough for you, you fuckin kid? do i have to lower myself to your level to get you to understand what im saying?"

eren really did tumble down onto the ground this time. he quickly shuffled up to his hands & knees, giving levi the same open-mouthed stare, except this time his face was such a pure red that levi was was expecting to see blood gush out from every fucking hole in his head. levi couldnt hide his grin.

"the offer's there, if you're interested."

silent gaping.

"you look pretty kawaii, on your knees with your mouth open like that."

the boys mouth snapped shut & he started a slow descent to the ground, leaning on his elbows to hide his face in arms & eat dirt off the stone floor.

"what, got nothin to say? didnt know you were even capable of holding your tongue. but id like it more if you held it against me." levi crouched down next to THE BRUNETTE & leaned toward him. the author fucking laughed at his really terrible line

"s-sir, wh-, i.. please--" 

the words met a horrible death in the middle of eren's throat & entire body went fuckin stiff when he felt the heat of levi's body nearby, close enough to make his skin tingle. an involuntary shiver passed through him when warm & wet air breezed against his ear. he was about to lose it & was absolutely ready to crap all his damn cum out (©dril)

"gonna put my dinky in your stinky"

the rest of the story involves mutual privates touching, jokes about levi waving his dick around like a lasso, trying to toss it into eren's mouth like a fucked up game of horseshoes, or one of those carnival games where you toss a ball into a jug, or like trying to score a ball of crumpled paper into the trashcan 5 feet away.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta-ed *^_^*


End file.
